Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Dateline: 4/5/04, St. Louis, Missouri

President Bush threw out the first pitch at the St. Louis Cardinals home opener at
Busch Stadium today. Bush completely missed the plate and immediately blamed Bill Clinton for it, consistent in his refusal to be held accountable for anything negative that happens during his administration. Bush insisted that "since the stadium was named after my daddy," he could blame whomever he wanted. While talking to
reporters during the game, Bush reveled in baseball analogies and insisted that just because he was born on third base, doesn't mean he didn't hit a triple in The Rich White Man's Affirmative Action League.

Michael Ankelman


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