Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Confessions of a Terrible Mom
(Why Bush must stay away from Busch)

Let me start by saying that I am a huge Cardinals fan, huge. I get so excited this time of year, all the new players and the renewed sense of hope; I just love it. As our excitement builds my family and I eagerly await the home opener that we attend as a family tradition each year.

This year the Cardinal organization chose to invite President Bush to throw out the first pitch. I don’t think the Whitehouse has officially accepted yet, they are still checking things out, but none-the-less, I am so irritated that the Cardinals organization has decided to politicize a non-political St. Louis institution.

I am a liberal activist. I spend a great deal of my time being an activist, but a Cardinal game is no place for politics. I want to be able to sit next to a stranger who happens to be a hard-core republican and give him a high five when Pujols hits his first homerun of the season.

If Bush is at Busch, I will be forced to boo him, and loudly. This will undoubtedly turn the nearest conservative heads in my direction, including that of my husband’s boss who will be sitting nearby. Even if I could manage to control myself, I would be busted.

(Here comes the confession part)
You see, my two-year-old son Ty upon seeing the face of our President, which will surely be plastered on the big screen, is prone to yelling “JACK ASS!” I know, I am a terrible Mother, teaching my son a bad word, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I am not really certain how it started but I think it was during the 2003 State of the Union address when my Son was about one and a half. He was on my lap watching with me and the expression just repeatedly flew out of my mouth. He picked it up about halfway through and every time the republicans would applaud, he would yell it. I have to admit, I thought it was pretty funny (he still does it every time he spots him on TV or any picture of him) and have done little to correct this behavior. I figure I just have to work harder to get Bush out of office so Ty will no longer see the need to shout out expletives by the time he starts school.

For those of you who may contend that I am causing some sort of long term damage to my boy’s psyche, please bear in mind the following; my mother still has a picture that I drew when I was six or seven depicting a man pushing over a little girl with the words “Fard pushes gurl” and “I like Carter pecus he is for por people.” I turned out just fine, didn’t I? Okay, don’t answer. Just help me to wish away the thought of Bush invading my Cardinal world, or there will definitely be no joy in Mudville for this crazy momma.

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